STOLEN WALLET

AGAIN!!! I FUCKING LOST MY WALLET AGAIN!!!!!

I was at PS toilet holding my wallet and phone on one hand and my plastic bag of clothes i wanted to changed into and was peeeeing into the urinal. I had no hands.. I put my wallet and phone on top of the urinal (not exactly ON the urinal). After that, i went into the cubicle to change with my plastic bag of clothes.

Notice something missing in that story. I did not take the phone and the wallet from the urinal. *FUCK* i looked out. *Nothing*

"Maybe Daryl took it for me" Refering to the guy i was with at PS.

So i changed quickily, even faster than the commandos, and i went out seeing daryl waiting there.

"Do u have my wallet?"

*Silence*

"?"

*Gives me that stupid look*

"FUCK!!!!"

And so i lost my 11B, my DEBIT card, my ATM card, my DRIVING LICENCE, $80.000000. That bugger was fucking fast. He turned off my phone.. He was damn fucking fast.

May that idiot die fucking.

its been a week and i haven't blogged.. and i oso haven't taken so much public transport in my entire life as a trainee.. i spent forty dollars on public transport.. and for that price, i traveled to so LITTLE places.. luckily i have my car again...

2nd November, i was thrown into the ocean and had to wait for the heli to pick me up.. Imagine this big piece of metallic Super Puma aimin itself towards u.. at first when it was far, it looked ok.. impressive in fact.. but as it came nearer, it looked like my final hours man. I felt like it was crashin into me.. so as i watched in *AWE*, a sudden large wave just *splash* into my nose and mouth. Singapore waters taste like shit. well.. so i held my breath as the heli came over me and the winch man came to "rescue" me, only takin short breaths, even then the waves must just come into my mouth. I was winched up to a height for 5 m, i was spitting the salt out and watched the scenery in awe.. "wow" and *SPLaSH* i was thrown back in the ocean. the winch man took the hood off me and went off to the nxt trainee. haha

wat an experience i tell u..

Quote of the Day

Darryl "So u think you single already balls big la!"

Ryan "Of Cos la!" Tryin to act like he has big balls..

Me (with the quote of the day) "What is the use of big balls...." they all look at me blur ".... if u have a small dick"

havent been updating this cos everytime i come online, all the stuff i wanted to write jus goes out of my mind and no matter wat i do, i can't remmeber wat i intended to write! i'm useless..

Today is Hari Raya! And its a holiday for me.. jus slackin at home today.. going for dinner with my family.. Tmrw there isn't work toO! Its Life! day for Aviation Wing at Air Force, so we have programs and games planned for us at East Coast. haha cool huh..

W/O Ben was tellin us yesterday
"This is some advise from our previous experience of organising Life! Day. The team leaders make sure all ur teammates know wat games they are playin and so we will have unneccessary interuptions, so that we can ALL GO HOME EARLY"

How obvious can that go?

And the other day, i was drivin down Adam Road, wat i saw on the other side of the road was super hillarious! This traffic police man was jus chasing this biker who was speedin and he slowed down to his speed and jus looked at him. I mean how scary is it? when u are a biker speedin and suddenly the next moment u realise there is this white angel starin at u just next to u... my heart will just skip a beat la..

$85 mistakes

Its stupid... the story goe like that.

Well, i was at River Valley Rd ESSO putting only $10 of petrol. And at the mini mart, sarah gave a loud *shriek* and immediately i knew her bra buckle went loose. So she threw a handful of shopped groceries and i had no hands to evenopen my car door.

So at the door i put my wallet on top of my car and left it there, and left it there... *ZOOOOOOOM*! I sped off...................... further down the road, i heard a *THUD* on my boot. I was like *WTF!* thinkin that something dropped from the sky (haha so stupid, what can actually drop from the heavens, money?) i jus drove off thinkin it was a rock.

So i stopped at SERANGOON GARDENS, wantin to go to the doctor, and realised *SHIT where is my WALLET!!!!!* and realised the my wallet dropped from heaven jus now. And so we drove all the way back back back and parked the car and swept thru the place where something dropped from heaven! *NOTHING FOUND*

Went to River Valley Police station and made a report, and drove back to Serangoon to see a doc..when i was 5 mins away, i got a call from that police man (a friendly sergeant) *Mr Ong? i found ur property* and i drove back there.

*Everything is in there! Jus that your $85 turned into $3.05*.. so i was like *WTF*

Well.. when the police man was doing somet last min admin, i saw a rat hiding behind a plant. *Hey there is a rat!* he went on like *Oh it came from the Drain and i let it in so it can scare the guy from the nxt shift* *evil laugher* *Sorry i hate rats!*

And so i left $85 poorer...

went to haoyi's bday dinner today.. haha it was almost the same as last year, but this year the thing was much more epaceful than last year's where there were people being dunked into pools and stuff.. ahha this year all they did was eat.. eat.. eat.. haha well..

happy birthday haoyi!

i jus got my pay for november!! yay i'm rich!!!

i saw a proton version of a large and long limosie.. <-- dunno how 2 spelll..

imagine a Proton Waja, stretched.. haha that is how ugly it was.. i was trying to look for the Proton's website, found it but their server was down. The car was so damn long that i could see the center of the car sagga.ing down. The material used to produce the car must be of super poor quality. Even their website was no where to be found..

There u have it. Proton Malaysia

err try the picture on the left! click on the button on the bottom of the picture.. and change the background =)

today the Corolla VS the E240 Merc....

Well went out at Embargo with samuel, gerald, ryan and kwanyi, and after that went to geylang for supper.. haha well.. the action hasn't happened yet..

it was on the way home on PIE, after CJC where there are the series of bends, that i and KY jus sped thru the turns at 120km/h.. i was doing ok. the road was quite empty, until i looked back at the rear mirror.. wat a sight it was.. An E240 (ky) was swinging left and right on its back wheels and smoke was coming out from the back wheel. I savoured the sight for a while thru the rear mirror... if only i could take a pic of it.. i mean how often do u see a big E240 skid on the high way?

well apparantly he had contact with a lorry so he stopped at the road side and settle things..

and so i went home..

we were gonig around the bend at almost same speed? well..

looks like the corolla has won the day!

I have been getting alot of attention from many unconventional people.

A filipino tried picking me up today

A gay made friends with me

Another guy is tryin to make friends with me

Sorry man.. i'm straight. and i only accept offers from 1 person.. for now.. maybe for a long time..

i don't wan to be talking so much cok to the world, but i got so much steam in me, i need to find an outlet somewhere. The blog is the most harmless outlet.

i am wiser

"Wah.. how come u suddenly so wise.. give such good advises.. hha nxt time i must ask u for more advise man" - Some friend (Identity kept secret for his relationship's sake)

i've become wiser already.. i see life in a very different aspect already. I give advise to people the way i couldn't in the past. Well. Guess i've become a betta lover from now on..

The leave i took

I just finished my 1 week leave from work. Well. I don't think the way i spent it will be the ideal way that people will want to spend it. But for me, I needed that kind of break. I needed to do nothing this week. I needed to get my life back together.

Although i didn't spend my leave the way i planned to spend it, it was good. I got to spend some time with her and do somethings for her. I didn't get what i hope to achieve after this 1 week break. But i'm glad i spent it the way i did.

No regrets man =)

The biking incident

Man shit man. i almost knocked down a motorbike man! and at that crowded PIE, i doubt he won't be rolled over my me or someother guy man..

I was changing lanes and this stupid motorcyclist suddenly appeared from no where and came into the lane i was going into! Luckily for him and me, i was looking at the side mirror cos i was keeping an eye on a cab, and i quickly moved away.. that fucker.. really really idiotic man..

I hate these kind of bikers.. They don't treasure their lives.. I wan to tell these idiots out there that although they don't treasure their lives, i treasure my future man.. if i kill u cos of ur fault, i still lose my job and that sucks.. so all bikers out there please take MRT!!!

i've never felt like this in a very very long time.. it must have been since tamworth that i've felt this? Its the feeling of a burning desire to see somebody..

the last time i felt this desire was probably in Tamworth, where i was stuck there in Australia while Sarah is in Singapore. Man i missed her so so much then

And this time, I'm in Singapore, and so is she. But well. u know the diff from now and then. i hate to say it. But i am missing her so much tonight. Here i am at home, not wanting to do anything but see her right now, although i only saw her 4 hours ago. where i dropped her off at her house? But now I wan to talk thru the night with her. I can't now. I want to see her right now. Its beyond my control.

Call me crazy, i don't care. Call me stupid for feeling like this only now. I do feel stupid. I don't wan to feel this way as well. Cos it hurts inside. It really really hurts inside. This kind of feeling is a feeling of powerless, a feeling where u really want to do something, but somehow u don't have the power and control to fulfill it. I can't do anything about this feeling inside me.

I'm in love again.

I miss u dear.. and i love u so much..

i am like dead bored.. its a saturday night.. there is nothing on tv..there is only one thing i feeel like doing.. but i can't do it.. i do not have money.. i do not have any desire do do anything else.. haha sigh..

good night world.. gonna watch soccer later in this case..

my life is good now... but it'll be perfect if i had u in my life again..

The sky has lost its color
The sun has turned to grey
At least that’s how it feels to me
Whenever you're away

I crawl up in the corner
To watch the minutes pass
Each one brings me closer to
The time you’re coming back

I can’t take the distance
I can’t take the miles
I can’t take the time
Until I next see you smile
I can’t take the distance
And I’m not ashamed
That with every breath I take
I’m calling your name
But I can’t take the distance

I still believe my feelings
But sometimes I feel too much
I make believe you’re close to me
But it ain’t close enough
Not nearly close enough

I can’t take the distance
I can’t take the miles
I can’t take the time
Until I next see you smile
I can’t take the distance
And I’m not ashamed
That with every breath I take
I’m calling your name

I’d brave fire and I’d brave rain
To be by your side
I’d do anything
I can’t take the distance

I will go the distance
I will go the miles
That’s how much you mean to me
I can’t take the distance
I can’t take these miles
I can’t take the time
Until I next see you smile
I can’t take the distance
And I’m not ashamed
That with every breath
I take I’m calling your name
I can’t take the distance

i hate my other family.
i hate them cos i hate sharing my father with them
i have so many nasty words i wan to say to them.
i want to curse and scold my other mom
i want to make her feel so horrible, and know that i never liked her my whole life
and that i know she is only nice recently cos i'm more successful than any of her kids.
i'm holding myself back only cos i need the car.
i'm materialistic so wat man.

i was travelling behind a super slow moving traffic police excorted convoy. how slow was slow? u know on an auto car it moves after u release the brake? the speed was like that.. i didn't even pressed the accelerator..

Thought of the day..

"I've found what's truly sacred in life's small things...Hopefully, the world can be changed through acts of kindness, acts of affection and love--the idea of doing normal, everyday things that actually have an effect down the line...Be kind. Because the opposite works as well. You can send your hatred to the future. And we all know the end result."

hmmmm i dunno what that really means? but i think it kinda summarises how i feel about what i've been doing for the past week or two.. haha well.. ..

"u wan to use the car? go ahead and use! don't spend ur money on this 30k car! from tuesday onwards, u can use all u want" -dad

"but u always talk cock one. U say this now, later u change liaoz." -me

"no la wont! from tuesday onwards, when i'm less busy u can use already" -dad

And so stupid me agreed, not buying the car and now, here i am again fighting over the fucking car again.. i hate people who go against wat they promise..


Oh and by the way, today i was almost summoned by police right smack at KAP.haha i was turning into KAP and i was kinda distracted, and so i went into the lane opposite to the flow of traffic. haha and it so happened that of all things, a car was there, and of all cars, a police car was there. If only i had such luck in other things.

THe police men inside immediately asked me to stop and they got me out of the car. yeah..

"did u know i can give u 12 demerit points and u are gone?" -him

"really? for not getting into and accident?" -me

"yeah." -him

"oh ok sorry." -me

and so it was settled he told me to go off and not given a summon. So i went to park my car at KAP, all pissed off with my luck, and just as i was about to walk up the ramp frm the carpark, i saw the same QX4300 police car right at the park entrance.. haha they *honk* at me and one of them approached me.. asked me for my name address and number..

"wat is this for?" -me

"don't worry. not booking u. jus giving u a warning and this goes into our records" -him

"can like that one ah." -me

"yes"-him

and my point here is, i did not get any letter frm him, and all i did was write my details on his stupid piece of paper. My question here is was wat the police men did legal on its own? was it right to get my details for this? and me not getting a "reciept" or anything? i mean couldn't he get it frm their little computer when he took my licence away at first? anyone out there who studies traffic law.. pls.. btw, the police car was a QX...

I know you think that I shouldn't still love you,
I'll tell you that.
But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it
where's the sense in that?

I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I know I left too much mess and
destruction to come back again
And I caused but nothing but trouble
I understand if you can't talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of "it's over"
then I'm sure that that makes sense

---

Everything I know, and anywhere I go
It gets hard but it won't take away my love
And when the last one falls, when it's all said and done.
It gets hard but it won't take away my love

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time

I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl, there's only you and me

Just the other day, i think it was on friday, i was at Sambawang Airbase for attachment at the Training Squadrons. The people who made it thru BWC in pearce and get posted to heli wil continue training here..

We were talking to the trainees there and we asked about the breakup rate with the gfs here in singapore, while they are there.. It was quite encouraging. Mostly only 1 breakups and for this 115 BWC course, no one broke up over there.

Well. than we went on talking.

The officer trainee "As a pilot trainee, you won't get to spend much time in Singapore. U might suffer now, but when u come back u can enjoy ur life."

Ryan "So actually not many people break up anyway?"

The off trainee "Yeah. U do hear many things about gf breaking up with the trainees, but in actual fact, alot more people hold on to their relationship over there in Perth."

Me "Hmmm.. so wat the use of all these if i don't have a gf man.." ".. Ryan, actually if u ask me now, if i was allowed to have her back, at the price of my pilot job, i'll glady do that.."

Ryan "You're crazy man.. its only for this period of time that u will feel this way man.."


Yeah i agree with wat he said. Its most likely only for this period of time that i'll feeel like this. But guess it'll take a hell lot of time and pain to get over this stage.

"hey u look like a security guard!"

think my uniform looks like one as well.. the white stripes.. Although the rank is unique, many people also have a very wrong impression that i am a security guard..

well. think u can count me as one. i guard the sky, that is.. haha

the first car i drove after i got my license was a volvo 60... that was the night i got my license.. the next car was a Suzuki Swift. I rented the car for 5 days, just b4 i enter my BMT. (my test was 6 days b4 BMT)

FOr the first day, i had alot of fun. 2nd day, had fun. 3rd day, fun 4th day no fun. 5th day, the car was parked there, but i chosed to take a cab, ignoring the swift altogether. Which was quite dumb cos the car cost me $50 a day.

WHy? cos the swift can only give me 100kph and thats all. IT was also bumpy and stuff and slow.. I SWORE that i will never ever drive one ever again in my life.

But today, i went to look at second hand cars at Automobile Magamart. Looked around, looking for a Honda EG6 VTEC.. i think i got the model wrong (the 3 doors one?). Well i found many of them. all of them were COE cars (more than 10 years) and their monthly payment was quite ok.. about 600++ a month and there were some of them that looked very sporty, and even had sunroofs. haha.. but lying on one side was a Suzuki Swift GTI. It caught my eye at first cos it didn't look like a swift. It looked damn sporty and the inside was lined with red. haha it was cheap. about 500++ a mth. Only then that i learn that this was a powerful version and it could beat an SIR anytime on the first 3 gears.. and so i considered, and here i am, going to go down for a test drive tmrw.. lol.. to think i was thinking i will never buy it just a few hours ago.. haha

haha today is a good day =) i took mc today.. sigh cannot blame la.. tummy upset.. haha so spend half my day with whoelse but sarah.. thats why i'm so happy today. =) we went from school, holland v, home, then to KAP, then to Bukit timah hill to see the 15m height slide, and then to PS and then back home again.. haha =) truly a cross country ride day.. =)

hmmmmm.. "i'm singing in the rain, i'm singing in the rain!"

The toyota corolla...

Although totally soft when it comes to collision with a MPV at 5km/h (mpv only suffered paint work scretch.. corolla suffered a total dent in the bumper), and although the tyres are tiny compared to the car, it is actually a very very versatile and powerful car..

Well.. firstly, it can give me speeds of up to 180km/h easily, and even at that speed, the steering controls are super stable and smooth. Compared to Kahsian's lancer and huson's hyundai and some other people's, they complain that at 120km/h+ they suffer difficulty in controlling, cos the steering wheel keeps vibrating..

And secondly, the car is very very well balanced.. When ever i'm going round a bend at high speed, such that the screeching sounds of the tyres can be heard, i notice that the sound comes from both the front and back. Unlike some cars that actually experience more back drift... and when it is wet, the car will skid on all four wheels. And mind u, skiding on all 4 wheels is actually safer than skidding on 2 wheels.. wel. dunno how 2 explain.. go try it urself first..

lala.. and so i conclude that the corolla, although might crush the moment it experiences an accident, u probably won't even experience one in the first place, cos the car has good control.. even when it is wet.. =)

"well i know its hard to fix the mistake i've done.. i can't do anything about that liaoz. all i can do now is prove that i know i was wrong.. or else i'll regret the mistake i've made.. cos i've just lost the love of my life last week. u need time, i'll give u time.. but all i hope now is that at least u open up to me once again? like u used to not too long ago.."

this was what my friend told me after he send me a photo of me sarah, kahsian, pris, and kwanyi.. it perfectly summarises how i feel right now.. and he isn't a guy that i'll expect this kind of comments frm..

marc says:
so wat u think of the photo?
marc says:
ur ex pretty?
feels fast..... says:
good lor. why?
feels fast..... says:
i think she is wonderful.. why
marc says:
then why break man?
marc says:
u both look great

__________________

marc says:
becos i think u both look good together man...
marc says:
it comes in a pair boy



i hope so..

once again.. its been a good day... but not a perfect day.. wished it was...

i've learnt my first guitar song! haha its a song by vertical horizon.. haha easy song for begineers... only need 6 notes.. and the strumming is god damn easy.. haha =) well i'll move on to harder songs once i perfect the changing of chords..

dropped by bishan with sarah after work. i dunno.. had a real wonderful time once again at a book store. MPH.. she read madonna's book. i thought it was crappy. i don't remember how fairy tales are supposed 2 be like. so i can't say fairy tales are crap.. haha whoops.. but little red riding hood and alice in wonderland and ... alot more.. snow white.. what i remember of them wasn't as crappy as this one here... haha well we spent 10 mins to finish the book. who needs to spend 30 on that book! well.. i understand if parents buy for kids.. haha

well.. i'm happy one the outside. and yet sad inside as well.. i'm weak at night, but strong when i'm with u.

So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I'm here to stay
Love can be so boring

Nothing's quite the same now
I just say your name now

Chorus
But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
You don't want me back
You're just the best I ever had

So you stole my world
Now I'm just a phony
Remembering the girl
Leaves me down and lonely

Send it in a letter
Make yourself feel better

Chorus
But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
You don't need me back
You're just the best I ever had

And it may take some time to
Patch me up inside
But I can't take it so I
Run away and hide
And I may find in time that
You were always right
You're always right

So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I'm here to stay
Love can be so boring

What was it you wanted
Could it be I'm haunted

had a really good time today with sarah =) watched movie at lido, some dance movie.. was very touching.. i think its called "time for dance" i think.. only at shaw theatres.. u wanna a sad movie? wanna see people with so much love for dance? watch this show. it's good.

after that we went around town and then to the "durain" and man.. there was so much things to do! we ate at Max brenner's and their chocolates were so YUMMY! really! Haha... it was like dinner of chocolate.. everything was chocolate.. except the plain water...

esplanade was actioned packed.. we saw this comedy trick show outside the esplanade, after that we saw someone making baloon sculptures for kids and adults alike, all for free! and that was when i realised how much i've missed. There has been so much going on at esplanade but i never bothered to find them.

Well.. many people were damn shocked that we're not together. Well.. so am i. Its like people who see us these few days in town probably think we patched. But that is only what i wish. Its wierd how come we seem "together yet not together". DOn't ask me why. Cos i'm still trying my best to make up to her. Things are more complicated than i thought. Well. guess i'll continue trying!

Pehon's theory of Human relations.


Do the math.

A girl and a guy meets... 3 elements.
(good time),(love),(on each other's mind)

when
{
(good time)=yes
(love)=yes
(on each others mind)=yes

they get together!
}

else
{
they don't get together!
}



however
{
when (problems)=yes
and
(good time)=no
but
(on each other's mind)=yes
(love)=yes

they breakup!
}


HOWEVER
{
when (problem)=eliminated
and
(good time)=yes
(on each other's mind)=yes
(love)=yes

they get to gether again!!!
}

also
{
when (problem)=eliminated
and
(good time)=yes
(on each other's mind)=yes
(love)=yes

they still don't get together
}



That is in theory.. for those who don't understand, let me xplain in words

2 people meet, they finally have a good time, got love got good time, on each other's mind, they get together and become BF and GF!

But when there is a problem combined with less good time, they break up., although they still have love and still on each other's mind.

SO when the problem is somehow resolved and as a result they have good time again, they logically will get back together right? wrong. somehow it doesnt work this way...


Yes, that was a very robotic way of seeing things. But i really wonder why...

My life is currently in a roundabout. I'll be going around and around and around until i get what i hope to get back.. =)

Had quite alot of fun yesterday.. with many people.. sarah and then the guys at night. Got home at 6 and almost lost my life by crashin the car into the tree, cos i fell asleep for a short moment... haha.. woke up just in time and turned the car and the car bounced off the curb *phew!* well.. good thing i'm still alife..

maybe if i crashed and went to hospital, that might be a catalyst to solving all my problems i have now.. haha crazy way of thinking. but sometimes i just wished i could just read the mind of girls for just a day. then i will know wat is going on in their confusing world of theirs..

I'm happy today =) kinda had a good day. compared to the last fews days that is.

The leave clerk (the clark that is incharge of all the leave matters of servicemen) is always on leave. Idiotic.

"aLL YoUr ComPs. ArE BeLoONg to Us!" -friendster.com

friendster is spreading! spreading like Rage! (28 days later). Its keeping everyone! even Quekie! Stuck on their computer screens! Quekie even played us out today by not wanting to come out.. wonder why....

wanna fail your exams? too much time in your hands? try friendster! you'll totally fail ur exams, and suddenly find yourself locked away in cyberspaceeee.

did anyone know that there was an alternate ending to the 28 Days Later? it only comes out after all the credit and stuff.. haha had to watch it a second time with other ppl to realise there was an alternate ending.. haha last night. the cinema was empty but 5 of us were jus sitting there like idiots, cos one of my frien claimed there was an ending. so. yeah.. ask me wat the ending was if u wanna know. don't wan 2 spoil the show for others.

Btw, i think the show was good..

i love Airforce SChool.. Not only is there nothing to do here, other than reading up some things about Pearce Training, and oso there is a computer lab here that i can just use during working hours.. haha cool right?

Basically during working hours, there trust that u will do what u are supposed to do and no supposed to do.. do i make sense? haha The things u can't do are Sleeping.. Wanking.. Going to canteen at unauthorised times.. Going to the mass at the wrong times.. Whistle at girls.. basically things we know we can't do but still do it.

And the instructors are all pilots, or were pilots. They do things very logically and for a purpose. Not like in infantry. And they're a bunch of very friendly ppl. There was once we had a bday celebration for October babies, and this big shot instructor was one of them. We sang them the original song, and then wanted 2 sing the vulgar song after that, but didn't dare to cos the instructor was there. Than another instructor led us into singing the song "WHY.....!"

"Why are u born so beautiful, oh why are u born at all! You're no FUCKING GOOD TO ANYONE..."

and the song just goes on. no he wasn't angry at all and in fact played along.. haha try having that in commandos. =)

And when u help them do stuff, they won't just dump u the stuff and don't care about u. THey'll buy u snacks like... frm outside.. like when they are on the way.. haha Poor infantry ppl.. with all the lousy instructors.. haha

haha think ishall start blogging again.. haha life here is damn free la..

thank you all who have been visiting and trying to see if there are new postings! will be back soon!

I'll miss u dear.. see ya dear!

hmmmm feeeling a little down and out now.. sarah's having dinner now. Guess i'm feeling like this cos i'm going in tmrw, and i am wishing i could be doing something else other than being here on the eve-evening of ocs. I would be at some restaurant spending my back-paid money tonight if not for wat happened.. haha sigh..

But guess i must be real grateful for being where i am now. I could have failed airgrading and had to go into the jungle for a meazly pay. Now i'm being paid like some rich asshole, paid for doing nothing in the near future, after tri-service. i must correct my bad spending habits. My bank fell frm 3800++ to 870++ haha.. in 1 weeks plus.

oh well.. talkin now so see you!!

I haven't been blogging in a very long long time... found blogging actually quite meaningless. haha.. well today will be a special day not cos its father's day, but cos i'm going back in to the jungles tmrw. Not back at Hendon Camp, but at OCS. As u can guess liaoz, i passed airgrading =).

I hate the jungle, especially being forced into regimentation again. After slacking for 3 months with almost no control over us, it would be really hard to step back into OCS again. I'll be feeeling like when i jus entered BMT. Alot of adaptation will be needed. Sighz.. but the idea of the nxt 3 months of regimentation being my last times of my life being in infantry control will really really spur me to see OCS thru.

Sarah's having some problems back at home today. Initially i planned to have dinner with her at somewhere nice.. but guess that plan has to go into the trash. haha. i'm gonna be confined for 3 weeks for TriService, which only lasts 4 weeks (personally i find it dumb) and it would be nice if i could see her for dinner today.. But guess i've to settle to jus seeing her during her evening "jog".

But heard life in OCS isn't as tough as in Hendon Camp. At least the beds are nicer, we're allowed to use the phone at night? And i won't be living in fear of a Commando style turnout (mind u commando turn out isn't jus falling in downstairs in the middle of the night. It involves alot of trashing of ur cupboard and messing up of everyhting u have in camp with 20 other ppl). I'm actually looking forward to the JST in Airforce Service Term. Heard its quite fun and damn relaxed.. all u need to do in rot in the jungle (for us Tekong) for 6 days and coming out alive. And during which u will be left untouched by instructors. So u basically can zzz the whole day if u can live without finding food.

But food won't be the issue either! cos u can easily ask for food frm passing by BMTC recruits.. haha....

Welll gonna leave for Sarah's "jog" now. Hope to see alot of ppl i know in OCS. And hope i get into Echo wing... well.. won't be seeing sarah for so so long. Hope she'll do fine when i get back.. Tata

hello everybody! jus had my first weekend out in Tamworth! yesterday it was quite boring, but today was different.. it was fun. we all floooded the sunglasses hut and we bought $1810 worth of sunglasses.. all our eyes went round and big when we saw it over the counter. haha. the sales lady told us that this was the biggest sale she has ever made on a single day. haha.. well. the others bought their sunglasses, 1 of it was rayban, while i bought my "O" watch! haha.. its big but damn ncie! haha.. quality stuff i tell u..

and we bought alot of shirts here.. $100 dollars of shirt.. 7 of them.. haha quite cheap right? the prints are quite nice and cute, and the quality is damn ncie.. really ncie. haha. and that reminds me of yesterday.. haha.. we bought our shirts frm this shop, and outside the shop was another sales lady selling oso clothes, and she was looking at us. haha.. smiled at alot of us.. haha yupz.. she is probably the first pretty girl i've seen here.. really..

and we were lucky today. cos there was this flea market that happens only once a month on sudays, and we stumbled upon this couple who were selling neckless handicrafts, and they're really such sweet and friendly couple.. they're both frm canada, but didn't come to tamworth together.. haha. i bought this damn cool mystry bag that is really really tricky. u can't open it easily without thinking. its like a puzzle.. haha. it took me 5 mins. haha the others took 20 mins.. haha.. damn cool.. and i bought a neckless.. they say they are building a house on a plot of land far far away frm tamworth town and they're staying in their tents for now. haha.. they shared with us alot of their stories of the guy building the house. haha.. they're really cool couple. the girl is quite pretty too, but thats not the point. she looks a little like my exGp teacher ms serena.. yeah.. interesting and nice couple.. haha..

and anyway, the orchard rd here is called PEEL street.. the shops and houses are all below 2 stories high, and we've only seen 2 shopping centers(yes one storey only). one was tamworth center and city mall i think.. city mall was where i bought my watch.. haha.. i have ran out of cash.. i'm resisting the temptation of drawing more money.. lol.. yupz. so thats all.

Australia is having the worst drought in history, as i jus found out a few days ago.. life seem to be going on as usual. The sprinklers (a good way to waste water) were working as usual every single morning and we took baths in the bath tub (alone of cos) like free. and the farm nxt to us was hopelessly browning out. haha..

But guess this was an answer to the prayers of the farmers to the water wasting Eurest (the host here.. its a company btw).. And i've jus started flying and it was good.. had my first sortie yesterday and my second, today was canceled cos of rain. haha.. by the way, Sydney is having a bad flood. Its declared a "natural diseaster". haha.. wat difference frm the drought. but they say that their catchment areas are still not filling up cos "they're too far in while the rain was along the coast" haha...

the instructor was quite nice to me.. asked me if i had flying experience, i said i had alot of solos. he allowed me to take control of the plane for most of the flight.. haha had real fun up in the air. haha. well.. i'm planned for tmrw.. hope the good weather will hold out.. haha

its quite wierd sometimes when u realise how people will think of u more and stuff when u do not have the chance to communicate with them. The moment u have the chance to do it, things become so different. People don't seem to remember you are there and crap. This feeling really sucks. i've sold my new $50 calling card cos i figured out i won't be using it anyway in a hurry.

and finally, i just checked my account balance.. i'm rich.

and the guy that deposited $40 into my bank today pls call me... thanks.. i wanna know who is the crazy bastard...

Hello everybody!!!! no, i've not failed yet, and i'm still here at Tamworth.. and yes, max, i'm at Tamworth, not anywhere else like rockhampton or some spelling like that.. anyway max, do msg me in icq 5850861 after i come back kk...

finally i got to use the computer here SARAH!!!

Anyway, i really love the weather here.. its like aircon temperature, but when the wind blows, *shiver* man.. seriously.. and better still, the rooms are very very nice.. its even betta than most budget hotels in the world.... there is this desk there for u to use, this damn big shelf for all your notes (consists on only 3 folders and errr.. a few more books) and a damn big closet that i only used about 1/100 of it i think.. haha. yeah.. the food? its freaking fattening, oily, free flow of everything including ice cream, and of cos, the food is so much betta than probably jacks place.. haha.. they oso have chinese food catered for us on certain meals.. haha... i've not started flying.. i'm having a freaking long ground now, cos we are supposed to be restricted in movement cos we came from a SARS affected place.. haha..

this batch of 10 that came here before us about 2 weeks, 4 of them has already failed.. 3 of them went home today... notified only yesterday right after they failed.. its like being forced to go home halfway thru ur paradise experience (this training is utopia compared to hendon man)... haha.. what have i been doing? zzzing on the bed, studying, soaking in the bathtub (yes they do have it here) and jus watching tv with th guys..

Anyway, sarah isn't doing too well.. i wished i was there.. but sigh..cant do it.. yesterday i bought a 20$ calling card, and i have only 1$ left in it.. all on sarah.. haha but sarah! i don't mind.. haha looking forward to the time i book out so that i can go get you the gifts! haha

Surprise Sarah! haha i wanted to leave a msg in your blog initially, but i can't access your webbie, and i only have 6 mins and 40 secs here on this mobile internet thing.. $2 for 10 mins.. rip off man.. haha but wat to do man... i've been waiting in this airport since 7 in the morning when i arrived,.. the flight planned for 11 ++ for us was full,so we had to be pushed back to the 1500hr flight.. haha sigh... yeah.. oh well..

the weather is qutie cold here.. they opened the doors that are damn far away, but the chilly winds reaches here... about 200m away.. haha.. we're taking this propeller airplane.. actually quite excited about reaching there.. cos i don't want to hang around here ANYMORE! haha.. heard we're gonna be quarantined for 10 days before any real flying is conducted.. sigh.. i really SARS.. hmmm.. well got to go now! time's running out on the timer!

In case u were wondering, yeah... i'm not staying in.. haha.. went to work on monday as usual and after the morning brief, the commander went
"This will concern all those who are going to australia soon..." my heart skipped one beat.."... after a final meeting yesterday, we decided that you all will not be needed to stay in"

man.. haha u won't understand how happy we all were.. haha i could not believe my ears.. haha and master hoo jus came to us and say to us with his very corny face "wah you all very lucky ah"

anyway, i guess its almost confirmed that i'm leaving on saturday night.. haha.. Just got my flight suit today! haha looks quite cooL! haha.. nvm. shall not say anymore... will be taking alot of photos in aust..l oh well. yeah.. okok.. nothign much else to say liaoz. so tata~!

Today was quite a busy day, ran around here and there.. but luckily i was allowed to do the things in my car in the morning with 3 other guys while the others had to do it in the afternoon walking.. haha.. but its damn stupid. cos we needed to get 2 chops on our medical certs, and collect our jackets at the same time in another camp jus nxt door (but u need to go a big round to the main pass office to draw the passes).. and so we went to get 1 chop done and collected our jackets, and the moment we got back to our Airforce School, our Lt YiTat was like "where is the other chop!!"... and he happily pointed it out to KieZin and promptly KieZin remembered that indeed we needed to get 2 chops... I so wanted 2 strangle him.. and than so i am the one with the car, i drove this time, only 2 of us with all the documents down back there, round the big round to the building that is actually 100m frm where we were.

So than the story didn't end here.. we got the things chop and we drove back, and walked back to our class rooms... It was than when KieZin passed it to LT YiTat that he realised that he only had 3 of the documents when infact we left with 4.. so i was feeling so fucked up that i gave him the keys and he went alone.. poor thing.. but when he went back with the last document, that dick head told me he drove my car around the carpark.. !IdiOt!

And in the evening the moment i steped into class after my soccer, someone was like "Eh pehon ah.. Are you crying?.... No not crying? ... oH u dunno about it.. Its quite probable we have 2 stay over tmrw afternoon onwards" I was like yes i wanna cry.. i have my date with sarah on saturday and they want me to stay over... sigh.. nvm for king and country..

And if u ppl wanna know if i am staying over? ask me directly.. cos i dun wan to publish it online.. haha.. kk byebye!

heyhey.. ahha woke up pretty late today and was almost late.. luckily the traffic was good today and i could drive at 100km/h for most of the journey.. haha.. got there jus in time when everyone was falling in ready for roll call.. Jus learnt that this stage of my training is the only phase where the pilot trainee can go home everyday... when i come back frm aust and frm going to OCS onwards, i wont be able to enjoy this.. quite sad actually.. but i'm pretty glad that i won't be doing anymore things in Hendon Camp if i go thru successfully..

Realised that people who have not been to Commando or Naval Diver trainings wished that they were frm there, wheras people who went thru wished they didn't need to go thru the training.. ahha.. So many of the tekong ppl that i talked to wished that they were in my shoes... Yeah.. they only see the glamourous part where ppl would wow when u say u in commando, but they don't see the aftermath of the turnouts where u have 2 go down to beach road again to buy 100 dollars worth of things that u lost throughout the turnouts.. ahha.. basically. oh well.. a turnout isn't pleasant.. Ask me personally if u wanna know more.. haha.. don't really wan to post it on the net.. its dangerous know. really.. no joke.. true life experience..

Finally got my flight suit, and sigh.. one suit is an old pair while the other one is a new pair.. haha.. at least i'm betta than the others where both were old. haha. and i think the badges that we got look quite cool.. even our name tag.. but the airgrader badge looks very amateur.. haha. its a very lousily and plained designed badge.. but i don't mind it.. haha.. other ppl frm other camp might not even have anything else other than their name tag.. haha.. yeah..

People tend to be very unsatisfied with what they have eh? haha.. like me now, i'm like expecting so much more when i don't realise actually i'm having an easier life than my counterparts in Changi.. haha.. used 2 be very sad cos i could not drink soft drinks in camp, but now that i can buy it anytime i want, i get fustrated cos i don't have enough money to buy drinks.. haha.. why? cos i spent 700++ on a digi cam and paid a whole load of crap to Airforce School and i oso have not got my overseas allowance and no pay yet.. haha.. well.. will get alll the pay in june.. 1 whole lump sum of 2000+ in june.. haha.. will be a happy boy.. until then.. haha..

And something quite fucked up, i already planned to go to some thing with sarah this Friday? but today my seniors informed us that we have to go for a dinner on Friday as well. some farewell dinner for our seniors.. haha.. sianz.. and its compulsory some more.. 20$ some more! how sian!... i really really don't wan to go to the Airforce dinner.. i wanna go to the thing with sarah... why? cos i promised her how freaking long ago.. sigh.. but i'm hoping that she remember wrongly and her thing is actually saturday instead.. more logical in the first place to have a bday dinner on saturday right? yeah.. my logic..

no body has ever talked to u that way?
well.. i've never talked to any body that way b4...

hello everyone and tim young.. haha jus wanna tell u tim, that "I'M SO GLAD I'M OUT OF THE PLACE!" haha.. that thrusday, eve of good friday, i saw my x-buddy at far east.. haha he was going for a hair cut and he only jus booked out at 6 pm.. and he needs to book in back in on good friday at 6pm.. haha was so sad for him.. walked around with him for a while and he was telling me how life in there was so diff frm BMT.. every instructor and even the warrant officer who was such a nice fatherly figure to everyone became devils.. right Tim? Your poor bowl must be suffering so much in there right? haha..

But i really missed the fat burning activities there in the camp.. haha u basically sweat frm morning to night..haha.. sometimes at night u oso sweat.., but that was before my bedside standing fan came.. anyway, i'm very proud of myself.. haha yesterday i did 400 crunches, 150 flutter kicks and 150 push ups and alot of pullups in sets.. haha. oh well, but i'm still fat.. sigh...hope the fats will go away very soon. haha..

Its a sunday today, and i got nothing to do... guess i'm gonna stone at home today.. haven't been at home at all since i got into the Army.. even after i got into Airforce, i only went home to zzz.. so gonna make my mummy happy today.. =) haha... kk enjoy your sundays guys! And gals..

oh weelll.. went all the way to sentosa with my dearie, and jus when we were gonna settle for one good nice site, the rain came falling down.. haha.. could see that sarah was so sad.. *hug* pls don't be so sad.. luckily i had the car! lol.. feel so powerful with a car.. can go anywhere i wanted.. haha dropped her at underwater world and she got herself a tatoo... one of those temp ones that is.. haha.. yeah.. and after that went for a movie! Hahaa.. you won't believe how crowded the cine was man, in this season of sars, ppl still dare to go to cinemas.. i'm quite surprised to see the cine at great world to be so crowded...haha..

oh well...l at least i could spend dinner with her at her house.. haha was quite surprised to know that her mom actually asked me to go for dinner...hhaha *happy* man all the good food.. her mom is quite a good cookk... jus like my mom *hmph* lol.. and man was i trigger happy with my digi cam.. haha.. it was so fun to keep taking photos.. haha and yah.. it was quite funny cos her mom was like bbqing half way and it started raining? hah and her auntie took an umbrella and bbqed in the rain.. haha. oh crapping again. but it seemed like today what ever we wanted to do, it would be distrubed by mr rain.. sigh..

anyway, sarah's been low and down lately? haha.. been there b4.. so.. hope she recovers fast fast.. =)

haha concluded another slack day and i am so happy cos my daddy allowed me to use the car.. for a few more days. haha.. man.. the buses are jus too expensive for my lousy pay... for now.. *grinz* until i get my goooood pay... *grinz*

tmrw we're going to the beach.. most likely, and actually i'm not that enthu.. why? Cos i've gained obvious ammount of fats since the days of field camp.. haha.. remembering the time when i jus left tekong the hell hole, and i looked at the mirror, i was pleasantly surprised.. haha lost so so so much weight! haha.. but ya.. the 4 days of off in due, i ate and ate and ate supper lunch x2 dinnerx2 breakfastx2, the fats came back again, and of cos, now i have nothing much physicals to do? the obvious is happening.. haha.. been trying to run alot at Airforce school, but wat ever i'm doing can't compare to wat i did with the red berets.. haha.. wanna lose weight? go to the commandos.. or at least their field camp.. haha...

but anyway, some of my ppl in my airgrading class are leaving this Sunday... fortunately and unfortunately, i'm leaving on the second of nxt month.. haha.. bad cos i am really really getting bored of life now at work, and good cos of Sarah.. haha at least she has more time to get my present ready =) lol! oh well... actually everyone was hoping to go the second batch of ppl to aust, but now i don't mind replacing anyone.. but its impossible cos yah... anyway, good luck to those people!

ps. some idiot who i totally hate was supposed 2 go this sunday? but cos he took mc? now he is going aust with me! ah!!! thats damn bad!!! i was initially so happy he was gonna be gone! *sigh*..

I dunno why, but lately i've been very listless, and waking up has really being a chore.. its not like i am so busy in the Airforce, in fact life is so much easier than my previous life. But i really dunno why i've been so so tired.. waking up with all sort of back ache and stuff.. and yeah, these are still not symptoms of SARS, so don't worry.. haha..oh ya actually the sars incident occured quite suddenly to me.. cos i was some what in camp for a long time, i forgot whether it was during my field camp or something, and did not had any contact with the outside world, and the moment i booked out and realise there was this epidemic going around, imagine how shocked i was. All the news we were exposed to in camp were the war news and crap.. haha..

Anyway, this is my first blog entry with my lap top.. haha.. i've kinda developed a kind of hatred for someone in my Airfoce course. haha i think leong koon knows very well who am i talkiing about, and the thing is that its not only me who is feeling this way.. half the ppl in my class has already developed this hate for this guy.. haha.. i shall not elaborate.. i jus hope he gets out of my life b4 i punch him..

my daddy has been very kind lately, and has been allowing me to drive to work almost everyday.. actually almost everyday last week, and this week i jus feel to paiseh to ask some more.. haha.. the corolla is a very budget, but nice car.. it takes sometimes less than 50 dollars to top it up to full and the fuel consumption is really low man. haha..

I guess this entry is quite crappy.. jumping frm topic to topic.. lol... well.. been very tired these days and this is kind of getting into somebody's nerves... oh well.. there is really nothing i can do to make myself less tired... so... so be it..

its been a long long time since i posted something here.. haha. its been a very very exciting month or so for me.. haha first of all, I'M OUT OF COMMANDO!!!! haha good news eh?

Yeah.. our bmt was postpone to a week later than the others in BMTC.. so BMT was over and i had to stay in Hendon camp for one week while the others continued BCT.. so all i did was slack in camp the previous week.. not actually slacking all the way.. i got to help out with all the "sai kang" in camp.. yeah. and we had our POP on the 6th this month and we booked out.. the others only had one civilian bag to carry, but i had my civi bag and my ali-ba-ba bag.. haha.. really really heavy.. basically i brought back my whole cupboard..

Booked back in on sunday night and the nxt morning, did our "leaving camp" admin. it was quite screwed up cos there was suppoosed to have a vehicle to ferry us to Airforce school? but in the end there wasn't one, so we were told to take a cab, or wait in camp for a vehicle to be avaliable.. haha.. we chosed the obvious.. ESCAPE HELL!

And so we started our life in airforce, and right on the first day, we had a surprise.. we were told to wear our new rank! haha.. all the way frm private to an Officer Cadet.. haha how cool right.. now my uniform looks more complete.. and more outstanding.. this white stripe on my shoulder... haha.. and life in airforce needed some adapting.. firstly, i finally can msg sarah anything i want and secondly, there is really alot of freedom.. haha.. shall not go into that. haha.. =)

and so.. the summary for my last 2 weeks! haha..

haha actually i didn't have much time to update my blog, but i realised if i didn't do it today, i won't be doing it for about three weeks.. haha...

sigh.. three weeks... so so so long.. won't be seeing somebody for so long.. sigh... how how how? so gonna miss seeing her.. and hopefully she's gonna miss me too! haha... the good thing is that i'll be coming back and i'll have a very long break! to make it up for all the week ends we sacrificed.. haha.. but too bad somebody will be having netball camp.. haha. sigh.. so many pros and cons..

whoops! i'm late!! hahah take care everyone! and especially sarah! see you all in a few weeks time!!!

ITs my second last book out b4 my very very very long field, at a field.. haha.. duh.. anyway, i didn't have time to update this blog until today.. haha not that i've been spending time with alot of people, but haha been spending so much time with sarah dear.. haha.. poor girl... got eye infection... didn't know about until friday afternoon when we were allowed to call out to our love ones... seee.... life in my camp.. really dunno wat the hell is going on out in the real world.. haha..

my platoon was lucky.. the others were running around doing things in camp but we were being rewarded cos we performed very well for our eight km march.. haha.. anyway, this week was supposed to be a very tiring week for everyone.. cos we had all the physicals one after another.. but i fell sick.. fever... and was in the sick bay for one day and stayed in my bunk for one day.. haha.. lucky me? no way... i had to stayback on saturday afternoon to make up for wat i missed out on... haha..

and that felt like shit.. why?? cos it was my bday on saturday.. anyway, after my extra trainings, i rushed home with my daddy's van and changed and went on over to sarah's house.. haha.. thank you so much dear for all the gifts!! Love you so much! haha.. was so happy that i was gonna see her that i was speeding away at 130km/h along the high way and along lornie rd.. haha.. i've been missing her so much in the sick bay and the days after that.. and we needed each other so much..i was on drips and she was in pain.. makes me wish i could spend my week with her nxt to her...

gtg back up now liaoz.. haha.. oh ya sze min, glad you are reading my blog, whether due to boredom or anything else... haha been talking to your tim young once in a while when we have the chance.. he is doing fine... not gaying arouind.. don't worry.. =)

and to sarah, i'm gonna miss ya....

haha i wanted 2 start this blog entry with "it feels good to be back!" but realised i used it the last entry.. hahaha.. not that i'm not creative enough, but there is really no other phrase to describe how i feel now.. haha.. The last week, yeah, was beginning to be physically tiring.. everyday we carry our SBO around, and inside we added four sand cans... although it doesnt really weigh more than 20 kg, but imagine carrying them around for the whole freaking day and going up and down the, we all felt so good the moment we take it off.. haha so light! really, you all should try it out.. haha.. but the worse thing is that there really isn't time for my muscles to recover.. cos the nxt day, the same thing happens again. by saturday morning, i was so exhausted i could hardly walk.. forced myself to walk...

what i really miss in camp, other than sarah, is music... sometimes at night you can hear music blasting frm some of the instructors rooms, ya... so jealous of them..

anyway, i had a belated vday with sarah yesterday, and i had to ask my dad so many times for him to lend me his van.. haha.. yeah van.. but the van is quite cool.. kenneth says so.. but i'm waiting for is the toyota corolla.. coming nxt week probably.. haha =).. anyway, i really really missed sarah alot in camp, and it felt good to be spending so much time (and money) with her yesterday.. haha.. but good things got to end... tonight i've got to go back.. i'm gonna have the depression syndromne again like always when i go in.. its jus the freedom that i will miss out of camp..

And i jus found out our field camp is 21 days!!! beat that tekong guys.. in fact, field camp is ould 11 days, but the rest of the ten days we'll be staying at the fields so we can use the ranges and stuff at tekong.. haha.. wonder would the field camp would be so long still if Hendon camp had the facilities.. sigh.. haha.. but the good thing is that right after the field camp, my BMT and commando LIFE ENDS!!!!

It feels good to be back! haha.. NS for the last week has been very very physically tiring.. Finally the activities are beginning to develop my physical well being.. before that it was jus mental.. haha.. But guess what? i'm feeling so much betta this weekend cos finally my platoonmates are really talking and its pretty fun to talk to all of them. haha many nice and cool personality.. haha...

I'm finally beginning to get used to the regimental life in camp, and yeah.. now i'm tired.. but i have to go out.. haha.. i dunno.. i don't mind going out, but i oso dun mind staying home and zzz like a pig.. haha.. hopefully i can rest well tonight and yeah.. most probably going dinner at Changi Village tmrw night.. haha.. so yeah see ya guys soon man!

Its a brand new day, and i slept till such a freaking late time.. or at least i tried. I dunno why.. I'm so tired and yet i can't zzz to twelve.. I woke up at 1130 and here am i again, putting a new entry into the blog. hahah.. actually this blog thing is quite fun!

My dad is a real nice guy. ahah. asked him to lend me his van so i can go beach road buy the entire place worth of things and he allowed! never expected him to say yes anyway.. haha.. I'm jus trying to make time fly by.. Gonna go down to his place to collect his van soon. haha.. And the toyota corolla my dad bought for me? Yay! its coming this month!!! haha dunno which day though.. lousy car dealer.. hopefully by nxt week end so when i book out i can go to daxu's party.. in the car.. haha

Anywayz, i'm jus seeing time fly by me min by min, and with each min going by, i'm going to camp a min sooner.. I don't want to go back.. i really don't. I wonder if i'm at tekong, would i feel as lousy as now? I dun think i will be feeling so sucky.. cos ya.. one privilege that is important to me, that is unavaliable to us, but avaliable to them is the use of a HP.. i wan to use my hp.. so i can call somebody at least once a day.. argh.. i should have appealed out of commandos.. I have many reasons that i can use to appeal out of it. But some of the reasons if i tell, i would be out of Pilot oso.. so.. yeah.. gonna suck the crap up in Hendon and hopefully, the 2 months plus would fly by me as fast as possible......

Ok i gonna type out the Sarah part of my essay.. haha.. shit i still feel shitty.. perhaps more shitty than b4 about typing all that again.

I don't like life in Hendon Camp. We don't have many privileges that people at Tekong has. And to make things worse, we can't use our phones, even at night. Only on certain nights are we allowed to use the phone for 5 mins. After that, we got to hang up, if not we kanna fucked. But to make things worse, seriously, i do miss talking to Sarah alot. There are nights were i feel so restless about everything, and after talkning to Sarah, i suddenly feel so awake. It feels like a magic pill where jus popping it would relieve all my worries and pain. Worries? yeah.. i really do worry about losing her while i'm in NS. Really really do. Cos I love her so so much. I really really care for her alot. Sometimes i do wished i didn't like her that much. Probably i would zzz easier at night at camp. At night, i have really nothing on my mind but her. During lectures, I've already written pages and pages of letters meant for her, but i probably don't intend to give it to her. I dunno why oso. Haha.. Its like really. Sometimes in lectures i and some of my platoon mates will talk about our gfs.. and sometimes i really really jus wished all this monkey crap training could jus fly by fast fast so i can see sarah during the week ends. But instead, time crawls like some big fat snail with its big fat shell.

But i'll think, probably this physically separation between us could be good for us in a long run. We've been spending so much time together, and sometimes ya.. probably its too much for her. I do fear losing her, but hey, look on the bright side of life. Probably this distance could do us some good. She finally has some freedom to do anything she wants. Finally. Hmmm and again, i do wished i didn't like her that much.. haha.. but wat the hack.. God made me like her so so much.. I really really pray to god asking her to give me peace of mind to overcome the NS challenges. But its not working. Still think of her excessively. But hopefully, this distance is good, instead of the opposite.

Although i seem so reliant on her, but i'm mentally prepared for anything that might happen to us both. It might not be a pleasant experience, but i'll survive thru it, especially since i'm busy with NS, and frm previous experiences, i've coped well with it. But again, i dun wan it to happen..

OK FUCK I JUS TYPED THIS FUCKING ESSAY AND I LOST IT.. i give up.