Ok i gonna type out the Sarah part of my essay.. haha.. shit i still feel shitty.. perhaps more shitty than b4 about typing all that again.

I don't like life in Hendon Camp. We don't have many privileges that people at Tekong has. And to make things worse, we can't use our phones, even at night. Only on certain nights are we allowed to use the phone for 5 mins. After that, we got to hang up, if not we kanna fucked. But to make things worse, seriously, i do miss talking to Sarah alot. There are nights were i feel so restless about everything, and after talkning to Sarah, i suddenly feel so awake. It feels like a magic pill where jus popping it would relieve all my worries and pain. Worries? yeah.. i really do worry about losing her while i'm in NS. Really really do. Cos I love her so so much. I really really care for her alot. Sometimes i do wished i didn't like her that much. Probably i would zzz easier at night at camp. At night, i have really nothing on my mind but her. During lectures, I've already written pages and pages of letters meant for her, but i probably don't intend to give it to her. I dunno why oso. Haha.. Its like really. Sometimes in lectures i and some of my platoon mates will talk about our gfs.. and sometimes i really really jus wished all this monkey crap training could jus fly by fast fast so i can see sarah during the week ends. But instead, time crawls like some big fat snail with its big fat shell.

But i'll think, probably this physically separation between us could be good for us in a long run. We've been spending so much time together, and sometimes ya.. probably its too much for her. I do fear losing her, but hey, look on the bright side of life. Probably this distance could do us some good. She finally has some freedom to do anything she wants. Finally. Hmmm and again, i do wished i didn't like her that much.. haha.. but wat the hack.. God made me like her so so much.. I really really pray to god asking her to give me peace of mind to overcome the NS challenges. But its not working. Still think of her excessively. But hopefully, this distance is good, instead of the opposite.

Although i seem so reliant on her, but i'm mentally prepared for anything that might happen to us both. It might not be a pleasant experience, but i'll survive thru it, especially since i'm busy with NS, and frm previous experiences, i've coped well with it. But again, i dun wan it to happen..